Laugh, Cry, Smile, Frown, Life

Sometimes I get really sad for no reason--or at least no good reason. Sometimes I cry...a lot. Sometimes even though it seems I should be very happy-I'm not. Sometimes it feels like something is missing but I don't know what it is. Sometimes when everything is going right-it still feels wrong. And many times, I wonder-am I the only one feeling this way?

Living in NYC is nothing like I thought it would be-and yet it's everything I thought it would be and more--does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

I often stare at people on the subway and wonder what they do for living, where they're going, where they've been, are they doing what they want to be doing, are they satisfied in their life, etc. etc. But these days, what I've really found myself wondering is what those same people think of me. What image do I portray? Do I look happy? Successful? Smart? Confident? Am I all these things? Depends which day you ask me...

The problem with this city is that I think it may be impossible to be satisfied when you are always faced with the opportunity to be more, do more and have more. Some days this can be a blessing, and other days it can be a curse. Some days I feel so proud of myself for what I've accomplished and other days I feel I have miles to go. I was never one of those people who couldn't be satisfied--in fact I would have to say I was quite the opposite. I used to lead a very content life-and I was just waiting tables and killing time! Now, I have a career, an apartment in the most expensive and desirable city in the world, a real life for myself. Like I said, some days I'm proud-others I wonder why I don't have just a little more.

Lately I've completely morphed into that person that I guess I always secretly admired, that person that pushed the limits and always wanted more. I think now that I've seen what there is to be had out there--and I'm not talking money here, I'm talking experiences, places to go and people to meet--I want it all.

Today the sun was shining--in every way it can. Today I woke up feeling blessed to live here, I ate lunch at Bryant Park knowing how many people in this world will never experience that simple pleasure...today I didn't cry...but yesterday I did...

The Olympics!

I've always been a sucker for the Olympics. Maybe it's because the only sports I was ever any good at were gymnastics and track which are only really mainstream during the Olympics. While I've always like the Summer games better for the obvious reasons, the Winter games are made of just as many heartwarming tales and tear-worthy moments, which is what I love most about the Olympic games.

This year's Vancouver games started on a sad note with the passing of the Georgian Luger, but the opening ceremonies in general (especially the parade of athletes!) always invoke tears for me. This year's highlight was the remake of "We are the World" (watch the video here if you haven't seen it--pretty awesome), and lots of surprise celebrity Canadian guests. Who knew there were so many famous Canadians?

My absolute favorite thing about the Olympics is the behind the scenes stories you don't see on the medal stand. The lone bob-sledder from Ghana that somehow overcame the odds to make it to the games, or the kid from America who grew up poor and made it out of poverty because of their "gift." What can I say, I've always loved a good story!

This Olympics, I'll be looking forward to watching some snowboarding (go Gretchen Bleiler!) as well as some skating and hockey. What's your favorite part of the games?

Was there a football game?

I watch the Superbowl for the commercials, the halftime show and the snacks--let's face it-I just don't get the sport! As usual, there were good commercials, bad commercials and meh commercials. I know every blogger out there has analyzed and dissected and linked to just about every ad so I won't rehash it all here. I'll simply note that the best ad of the night-the only one that evoked true emotion-which I believe is the sign of advertising perfection, was the Google, Parisian Love ad. Hands down. Simple, to the point, told a story, displayed the product, memorable. For those of you who somehow missed it, Enjoy!

Beyond this-I laughed a few times and enjoyed Betty White Snickers, Dodge Charger, The Doritos ones (they were "edgy" come on) and the Megan Fox Motorola Ad. I definitely noticed a not so subtle theme of threatened masculinity and wonder if men are really that insecure? I'd like to think not...

What was YOUR favorite ad?

Ew-I'm old!

This weekend I was reminded that 21 was a loooong time ago and 18 was well, even longer...

As I waited on a LINE at 10pm on a Saturday night at a bar that I was clearly too old for (was there for a going away party-didn't CHOOSE bar that shall remain anonymous but is probably sounding familiar, especially if you are from LI!), I was freezing, but at least wearing ample clothing and "comfortable" shoes in comparison with the girls in itty bitty skirts and high heels, it occurred to me that I am now "sensible?!" I remember vividly running from our cars to the bar or skipping between frat houses in a tank top and black pants-no coat-even in the winter-because that was the "thing" to do. God I was stupid back then!

Standing in a mosh of loud music, flailing arms and splashing sticky cocktails is soo not fun to me--yet eons ago I swear it was! The night actually turned out comical and a pleasant reminder of naive youth and the way your idea of fun "evolves" the older you get. It was also funny to note that most of the music "kids today" were dancing and singing along to was popular "in my day." Bet they don't even know who sings half those songs! :)

13 degrees!

It's cold this morning in the NYC. There is a major draft coming through the heater in my new apartment--go figure. I'm up earlier than I would have liked due to the cold and the contradicting bright sun streaming through my window...

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. Last week I was in Tyson's Corner, VA for a Social Media for Government conference. It was pretty rad. I got to hear from a bunch of brilliant minds on the topics of privacy, security, community building and new social media tools. I got to put a real face to some of the tiny little avatar pictures I've been following on twitter forever. It was good to be meeting people and learning-two things I always want to be accomplishing in my professional life.

Last weekend I moved which was relatively easy thanks to Arturo's moving van company (highly recommend!). As I slowly get settled in, figure out where to put my TV to optimize the viewing angle, wait for my couch delivery (another shout out-downtown furniture in Chinatown delivers and assembles for free!) and muster up the strength to venture outside for a DD coffee, I feel grateful for my (relatively) warm bed and roof over my head when hundreds of thousands of people are living in tent cities without food or clean drinking water. So yes, it may be chilly here in NY today, and everything may not be perfect in my life-but taking a minute to realize how very lucky I really am is always a surefire way to jump start my day!

PS, if you haven't donated any money yet to help the people of Haiti--please sacrifice your Starbucks today and do so here.

RI really is a backwards state!

Now don't get me wrong--during my 7 years living in the tiniest state in the union--I found a lot to love about such a small state. Specifically, The Coast Guard House, the "wall" in Narragansett, Picnic Basket deli, live reggae at Ocean Mist in Matunuck, The Station House for cheap breakfast in Kingston, everything about Newport, stuffed Quahogs, Thayer St. in Providence...and the list goes on and on...

That being said-I have to take a minute to call out the state for some of their odd and archaic workings. I last resided in RI in December 2006--more than 3 years ago. A few weeks ago I received a suspicious letter from a law firm in RI stating that I owed taxes for a car I no longer even own from 2005--yes nearly 5 years ago! Thinking it was scam, I investigated further and found out that I indeed owe this money and also now have received a bill from the Newport, RI "tax collector" for 2006 and 2007. When I called to nicely ask why I never received one bill and to explain that I now live in NYC and sold that car months ago, they informed me that "bills don't always get sent" but you should "just know" you owe RI state taxes each year for your car? WTF RI, sooo confusing--is this even legal?? Long story short I am now mailing a check to my ex-favorite little state to pay a mysterious tax for an old car...

This whole ordeal reminded me of the other little idiosyncrasies that people always mentioned about RI. Like the fact that they are the ONLY state to still celebrate "V-Day" as in "Victory over Japan Day" as a federal holiday! Also, up until maybe a year ago, their toll bridge in Newport didn't get EZ pass and didn't have any kind of gate system like say, the Midtown Tunnel does. Not saying I ever did this, but I "heard" that you could just throw a penny instead of a token into the slot and it would still let you drive right through...

So as much as I miss cruising down Ocean Drive in Newport in that car that I am now paying back taxes on...I guess I'm glad to be living in NY, where at least all the rules make sense--well sorta... :)

Team Conan!

Who else will be glued to their TV tonight to watch what Conan has to say?? I loved loved loved his statement for those of you who haven't read it yet, you must! I personally think it's honest and sincere... I have always been a "Leno followed by Conan watcher" (when I'm not watching late night Friends reruns that is...) but I gotta say I think what NBC is trying to do to Conan is pretty lame. Just because Leno didn't work out doesn't mean Conan shouldn't get the proper amount of time to make the Tonight Show his own...doesn't seem fair! I hope NBC can find a solution that suits everyone, including my favorite Late Nighter Jimmy Fallon (see my previous post about him here). Tune in tonight folks!