life on the bus...

More and more of my blog posts lately are either A) about riding the bus or B) mentally written while ON the bus. What can I say, riding the bus brings a whole new element to my life!

Tonight I worked late and took the cross town bus home at 10pm. I started walking but then saw the glorious lights of the bus coming my way and couldn't resist its appeal after a long day at the office, two slices of peperoni pizza and a big gulp sized Coors Light (thank you for existing Pronto Pizza). Anywhere else in the world, 10pm on a Monday is probably a pretty quiet time, but not in NYC! Sometimes you really lose all sense of time and "normal" business hours living here...the bus was full of people in office attire or with shopping bags and if it wasn't dark out, you'd think it was 5pm by the energy and buzz in the air. It *almost" makes working until 10pm bearable when you realize that everyone else in this city is working too much, sleeping too little and generally living a lifestyle that by any other standards would be considered "nuts." (For example, Buffalo, where the bf lives, and the land of a 5pm dinner time and a 9pm bedtime!)

One final fun bus story. A few nights ago after yet another sprint to catch a pulling away bus, I did that awkward "running in heels with my oversized purse" things that girls do and that generally looks ridiculous and probably doesn't actually get you there faster than walking...anyway, long story short, I made the bus and just as I was swiping my card and the doors were closing, a guy popped his head into the bus nearly getting decapitated by the door to say "hey great run, that was impressive doll." You just can't make this stuff up folks!

Life: The unedited version...

Why haven't I written for literally months? Why do perfectly blog-worthy experiences come and go without a word typed? What's my excuse? What's my deal?

Well a) I'm busy b) I have been deferring to my "private" blog AKA my little notebook of thoughts that I use to express the things I don't quite feel comfortable dumping here c) busy again d) lazy (yeah...it's true)

I'm back with a vengeance though and probably a very lengthy ramble of thoughts, observations and general rant to the blogosphere...

How come some days I feel really proud of my life accomplishments and where I am (location-wise and "metaphorically") and other days I find myself lying awake in a panic thinking I've gotten it all wrong. Like wrong career, wrong city, wrong everything! How come I am constantly in a love/hate/really hate/really love relationship with this gosh darned city!

Exhibit A: Today at approximately 6:44 pm I was nearly killed. No really, I escaped death by a really narrow margin and somehow brushed it off until writing this post. I was crossing 34th street at Herald square, AKA, the busiest intersection in NYC, if not the world, in the pouring rain with a giant umbrella, a mob of other people with their giant umbrellas AND a giant bus obstructing my view of the crosswalk light when I stupidly followed the crowd in front of me and began to cross. ALL OF THE SUDDEN I was literally thisclose to be mowed down by not one, but TWO cross-town buses only to make it past those and literally have to stop a car WITH MY HAND illegally turning INTO ME! Sorry for all the ridiculous punctuation but for real! So anyway, I lived to tell the tale AND I made the M-16 bus as a result of my ridiculous "misjudgment" of the traffic. (Mom, I know if you're reading this you are probably freaking out by my carelessness but don't worry - lesson learned!) Once I got on the bus BTW, it was SO packed with angry, wet, crazy, oversized-umbrella-yielding New Yorkers that I just had to laugh. Why are NY'ers SO uptight?? And why am I becoming uptight after 25 plus years of being the most carefree person ever. Yikes!

Exhibit B: Spent this past weekend in Newport, RI, my "happy place" and was quickly telaported back to a time when life was easy all the time. It's weird because when I lived there I WAS happy but I was also searching for something else, something more, something I was SURE was in NYC...now, I'm not so sure...

Exhibit C: After getting my tooth-pulled a few days ago I was craving one thing and one thing only - A Wendy's Frosty! After a long day at work, I decided to reward myself with a quick late-afternoon trip to Wendy's (the one across from the Empire State Building and riddled with tourists, homeless people and other assorted characters...). Well, there I am waiting patiently on line A when the register in front of me opens up and I place my order of "One Medium FROS--"YO MISS, WHAT THE {EXPLETIVE DELETED}! I'M NEXT!" I am then pushed aside and crazy man from Line B starts rattling off his long and random order to the shocked clerk with the facial piercings. The best part was how I looked back at the line for moral support and no one even looked at me. Long story short, I held back my tears, got my frosty and got the heck out of there!

OK, I realize my three exhibits didn't exactly exhibit much other than my randomness and slight craziness but my point was that living in NYC on a day-to-day basis can be amazing, inspiring, career-changing, etc. but it can also be scary, overwhelming and stifling. So I ask myself, do I want the ocean, the no-worries, the simple life or do I want the lights, the sirens, the ladder climbing, the "dream?" It really depends which day you ask me!